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Isolation Tips: Partner Communication

Posted on April 01 2020

 Couple Laughing

Things are strange right now. Most of us are under some form of lock-down and that can lead to struggles in a relationship. But let's think optimistically and take this time as an opportunity to strengthen your bond with each other.

If you're co-isolating with a partner, you likely already have had difficult conversations. Has the topic of sex been one of them yet? We're here to offer a few suggestions for consideration.

Plan Your Sex Talk
Let your partner know that you think it would beneficial to have a discussion about your sex life. Be prepared to give a response to "Why?" if they ask. Some people may be happy to set aside a time in the future and others may insist on doing it right then because they want to know what it's all about. Set a goal for what you'd like to get out of the discussion and try to focus on a way to achieve it.

Make Sure the Mood is Right
You obviously want to be in a good headspace and to make sure neither party is too stressed (I know...) or preoccupied. Some people may be more comfortable having this type of conversation over a cocktail but be mindful not to get too tipsy and say something you later regret. Consider a setting outside the bedroom so there's no expectation or pressure on performance right after (if that happens though–great!).

Be Mature and Non Judgemental
Sex can be a really difficult topic so approach things gently and remember to be open-minded and not jump to conclusions. If there's something that bothers you, consider placing a pause on your initial reaction and learn more about the "kink" they've disclosed. Remember, lots of fantasies are not actions people truly want to act out in real life. You want your partner to be open and accepting of you, right? Do the same for them.

How the Hell Do We Do This?
Every conversation will differ based on what you want to get out of it, the current status of your relationship, each of your desires, and more. Are you both happy with the frequency of sex? If not, or if that changes, how will you deal with it? Are you comfortable with your partner masturbating? I hope so, but if you have issues with that, consider boundaries such as to photos/videos of you or watching porn together.

Talking about needs, desires, and kinks can be tough. You may be hesitant to bring up something you enjoy or are interested in because of fear of judgment. Or because it can just plain be awkward. We put together a checklist that might serve as a fun and approachable way to discuss topics. You might be surprised at the new things your partner might be open to and hopefully you have some matching activities. By having the option to list maybe, it can provide a safe way of introducing it to a conversation without too much pressure.

Only you know the dynamic with your partner in order to approach things in the best way and what boundaries you need to put in place or keep in mind. Hopefully, you can have some fun with it and end up exploring something new together. Don't forget, this can be a sensitive subject so be gentle and patient. Compliments before suggested improvements go a long way!

Click here to download our checklist. It's intended to be approachable and inclusive but feel free to add your own in!

 

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